1. |
the son
04:50
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THE SON
i see you on the street, a son suits you well.
you don't want to be friends as far as i can tell.
all i wanted was the magic of love, poured into the shape of you.
but i'm happy, in the name of peace, that we still get along.
once again, as predicted, there's emotion in my point of view.
in my girlhood romance, all i can think of is you.
i wish i was your son.
it would be such fun!
i'd tell you it's okay to have frightening thoughts.
on computer screens you climb up the mountain;
versions of happiness, it's okay to have a few.
you're always in my thoughts.
once again, as predicted, there's emotion in my point of view.
in my girlhood romance, all i can think of is you.
this girlhood romance, it only lasts for a while.
we cling together as a means to survive.
what do you ask for?
what do you read late at night? maybe we think of the same.
think of the moon, the singular moon,
the same moon links you and i.
oh, he's got green eyes
just like me.
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2. |
desire
05:23
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i've got a broken system sonnet,
foreshortened by my ire.
you say that it's normal but i'm afraid of my desire.
crushed by their misogyny, i walk past their window still.
with my desire so well hidden
i float from room to room.
if i close my eyes no one will see me.
if i close my eyes no one will see me,
but maybe i spoke too soon!
if caladium grows red and green,
in widening fields, taking up space,
i can show my face.
i never even bothered to feel bothered when
my so-called friend didn't understand
the variation of the form that my love takes.
they didn't understand.
desire is mine tonight, tonight.
desire is mine tonight, tonight.
i know what i want, know who i am, know what i need,
and it's you who's gonna give it to me.
if caladium grows red and green,
in widening fields, taking up space,
i can show my face.
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3. |
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IN AN ALLEYWAY BESIDE A MOUNTAIN
i still dream of the knife-throwing man
who appeared, in our alleyway, beholden to no one.
shortened collarbone, fingernails.
we're both grey in face and muscle.
in my dream there's an infinite loop
of my face reflected in the blade.
there's an element of surprise.
there's an element of surprise.
there's an element of surprise:
here we stand underneath the querelous, unbelievable mountain.
who can imagine ever scaling such an unbelievable mountain?
such an amazing height, raising my hands high above!
rising airs catch the ferns up high,
rising airs catch the ferns;
he will go go go relentlessly
he will go go go endlessly.
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4. |
the rock
05:24
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THE ROCK
do boys boil, yes.
do girls boil, yes, she sang wind-in.
push shoulders back, wings up,
a strong visual. chin into chest, make yourself
heavier than you were just by contemplating mass.
a dream somewhere is wet, and i know she felt moved.
spoke carefully, the flushed face of next to teeth daughter,
a dream fallen out from overexposure to untruth mouth.
waiting for somebody she wasn't told properly about.
waiting carefully until it all flows out.
accosting the rock,
and dropping the rock.
the rock doesn't answer to you, undertaker.
the rock, the people's champion.
he entertains millions.
he flies backwards, the air passes through his ass and his mouth.
flies until he stops fighting!
so let's sing again,
my body so limp it won't exist without you.
i'll let dogs muzzle it you weren't told properly about.
a freshet stars daughter, pees on the seat daughter.
my body is my choice
is the rock
is my choice
is the rock
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5. |
inside a tunnel
04:33
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INSIDE A TUNNEL
there's a tunnel i know
who's terminal's water.
not a time when i'm aboveground in my search for water.
shaped like a window i get to climb through,
all the women are trapped in there while i get to
just pass through (i know i won't just pass through!).
can't see them but i feel them,
our bellies drag across the ground,
can't see them but i feel them,
they fill our lungs without a sound.
i just remembered: the stone is worldless,
likewise the animals, the veil of plants.
our tunnel's suspended and we its animals.
matrix unknown soils
trapped in unknown soil
can't see them but I hear them, the ghost they bang our shoulders.
can't see them, how long since i've felt the water?
the body covered in dirt pretends not to move, or concertrate on progress in this tunnel.
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6. |
basement t.v. room
03:24
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TV ROOM
"in the company of wolves" is a film by neil jordan.
I watched it in a grey room full of plush furnishings.
across from the VCR, he's still, in an armchair.
the movie took me somewhere, did it take you somewhere?
it's a social disease, and you showed it to me.
I know you, oh and I love you.
oh he's searching, running again and again,
into those woolen arms. still searching, still searching
mine's a brother fantasy, beneath a staircase.
one of us is lying, the other one's not lying.
it's a social disease, and you showed it to me.
I know you, oh and I love you.
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7. |
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YOU ARE HEARD JUST UNDER THE WIND
(whispered intro, with fx)
'above, below, the the left, to the right, inside inside'
you are heard just under the wind
blakeley heard just under the wind
you are heard just under the wind
blakeley's secret room under the wind
i strain harder, since he's died,
to hear something essential.
floating cloudhead, foamed, flowered wind,
blakely's secret room just under the wind
it's you
it's you placed above,
beyond the wind, it's
bridge: (two voices, in unison)
when the earth moves, it moves without us, it moves without us
when the wind moves it moves without us
when we lose objects they move without us, they move without us
we we hide people they lose us too
sighing out
weeping water
sigh deeply without, above below
we can define what it is
by what isn't there
just under the wind
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8. |
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2009
law enforcement wasn't tye best answer.
crystalize the story, 'fore and after.
the air feels different, a queerer shade of blue,
birds revise their flying patterns, too,
to witness her here and survey future scenes;
to scan below another feverish dream.
found my feminism in 0-9,
found my feminism in 0-9.
if not then, some other time.
and the air skews hot, but our sun has set today.
nothing prepared the body for the pain of reporting rape.
there's a trapdoor in the ceiling for her to escape his face.
no one's allowed on the roof this late, pause with the shadows, wait.
watching television in 0-9,
watching television in 0-9.
if not then, some other time.
foliage grows thin, and the ground it gently rises.
deposition room hanging in her mind,
she sees his face in women, men, in a mature child.
wish him restitution, peace, forgiveness,
but the mind goes wild.
sleeping heavily in 0-9,
sleeping heavily in 0-9,
if not then, some other time.
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9. |
||||
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There's a tunnel I know whose terminal's water; not a time that I'm above ground in my search for water.
Shaped like a window I get ts climb through. All the women now live there, while I get to just pass through (I know I won’t just pass through).
Can’t see them, but I feel them (our bellies drag across the ground). Can’t see them, but I feel them (they fill our lungs without a sound).
I just remembered: the stone worldless; likewise the animals, the veil of plants. Our tunnel’s suspended, and we its animals. Matrix unknown soil. Trapped in unknown soils.
Can’t see them, but I feel them (the ghosts they slam our shoulders). Can’t see them (how long since I’ve felt the water?).
How long since I’ve been fresh and cold?
The body, covered in dirt, pretends not to move; or concentrate on progress in this tunnel.
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||||
Joy Shape Toronto, Ontario
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